Hitch

By M

Come on, there are many reasons to watch this movie. These are not self-evident, but hey, neither is the theory of relativity (unfortunate comparison, I know).

I mean, I think that we can acknowledge that watching anything with Will Smith is legitimate for those of us who grew up with the Prince of Bel Air. It’s called nostalgia. More seriously, there is Eva Mendes. We are a level beyond legit on Eva Mendez since Holy Motors (yes, I don’t even have to mention Ryan Gosling, how about that).

So I watched this. It is so dull that I had to lie to N when she asked me ‘what are you doing?’ There is NO interest whatsoever.It tries hard to be funny, but it rarely manages to do so, and when it does so, these are jokes you could have come up with easily. I mean super easily, like, you are unconscious and still able to come up with those jokes.

There isn’t even a ‘transformation’ as such of any of the heroes as the genre would demand: neither Will Smith nor Eva Mendes transform, they have just been waiting for the ‘right person’. When the right person comes, they don’t even hesitate. Then there is a misunderstanding: and that, my friends is the only plot recourse that allows the plot to be that, a plot. The story is totally predictable and even the plot switch feels like the director’s best friend told him: hey man, shouldn’t something ‘happen’ in a movie? Thank God he didn’t think he was doing some arty movie and instead of responding ‘no’, he introduced the aforementioned plot twist.

This movie is a joke. You get to see a tiny bit of NYC, so maybe, just in case something terrible happens and NYC is transformed into Pleasantville, let’s not destroy all the copies of this movie.

By the way, this guy directed the memorable Fool’s Gold. I am in shock at the news that I have watched two of his movies in one same year. This is real.

But do not watch it, unless things are really bad and then Lou Reed dies.

Holy Motors

By M

This movie is extraordinary, and I weight my words. It is the kind of movie that confirms the potentiality of cinema as an Art, as a vehicle to reach the essence of imagination.

The movie interlinks narrative surrealism and pure plastic experimentation. It brings together absolutely all  cinema genres: comedy, drama, thriller, horror, sci-fi, violence, musical, romance, you name it. Certainly we, the viewers, don’t have the voracious appetite that Carax has, so we might feel uncomfortable with an episode or the other, which might appear to us as “kitsch”.

I am sure many of us watch the movie expecting the moment when the orgy of creativity will become evidently too much: Is it the entry into a video-game world of monsters through a ridiculous costume made of phosphorescent light bulbs? Or is it the musical comedy starring Kylie Minogue? Maybe we are not ready yet, so then… it must be the last scene, in which limousines talk to each other, is that not a cheap flirt with Knight Rider and Cars? Mmmm, think twice, and if you are still not convinced, just trust Leos Carax, because he knows better.

This movie is a collection of astounding performances by the magnificent Denis Lavant, who literally transforms into no less than a dozen characters. His job is to become others (this is the plot line, no kidding), to play a part in the lives of others. And he plays an extremely intimate part, a part that seems crucial in the lives of those he visits, but… just for a few minutes. As a fleeting and priced solace.

The actors who give him the line are also extraordinary. In particular, speechless Eva Mendes is like a painting that was inserted in a cinema screen. The section with Mendes is doubly especial because Lavant interprets a “monster” that we became acquainted with in Tokyo!, a medium-length film Carax directed some five years ago.

The movement in the city (of Paris) should make yell of jealousy and frustration all those who have tried to say something about the city (I am not even going to mention the shorts ON Paris, but think of movies such as “Dans Paris” or the like, that were highly popular a few years ago…). We are given access to the very mysterious SAMARITAINE building, walk under the bridges, run under the sewer and drive out of the ring-road… priceless.

The movie is as indescribable as it is bewitching. Try your hardest to watch it on big screen and make sure you get the best sound system.

The Place Beyond the Pines *Spoiler*

By M

I had read a couple of reviews before watching this movie and I was pretty much convinced the movie would not be excellent. And it wasn’t. Yet, it begins with an almost 10 minute long sequence starting on Ryan Gosling’s six pack and following him as he simultaneously dresses and walks towards his bike. It made me totally forget about the reasons the reviews had given me against the movie and I was ready to collect as many arguments as possible to defend it. The sequence is superb. You are intrigued by this world we seem to be entering, the world of in-cage-motorbike-riders, and you almost forget that since Drive was made, making Gosling play a driver is… tricky.

The story is three-fold: 1- Ryan Gosling learns he has a baby and tries to orient his life to make sense of that fact / 2- Bradley Cooper is traumatized by killing Ryan Gosling (and leaving his son “orphan” – which is a scandalous interpretation of what happens because the kid still has parents, except his dad is not his biological dad) and tries to follow his own dad’s steps while neglecting his kid (who is the same age as Ryan Gosling’s) / 3- “15 years later” both kids meet and become friends (it ends poorly).

There are a few things to save in the movie besides the magnificent introductory sequence. A few. The final credits, for instance, are sober and elegant, and Cianfrance plays a very loud, easy-listening music, which produces a fantastic effect. Gosling’s smile is cracking sometimes, for instance, as he hides Eva Mendes’ eyes for a picture pose. Right after the movie I could think of a couple of lines that I found great, but now I can’t remember any.

It’s also great that Eva Mendes spends her time crying and Gosling pretends not to notice. Gosling’s relationship with his retard friend is also great, we don’t quite know what to make of it. The shooting of the ride between the pines, when they first meet, is also very good. The greatest scene besides the first sequence is the one with Ryan Gosling throwing up in the truck after he completes his first bank robbery. It’s also worth noting that Gosling sings for Mendes’ mum in Spanish and that he dances with his friend’s dog. The rest of musical choices, except for the final credits, are bad.

The stories are ok: it’s interesting to talk about motorbike riders (except it sounds like a remake of Drive), it’s interesting to talk about corruption in the police and it’s interesting to talk about childhood and adulthood.

Many choices are terrible. My friends thought it was a good idea that Ryan Gosling’s son (Dane DeHaan) did not kill Bradley Cooper’s son (Emory Cohen), which he almost did to revenge his father. The more I think about it, the more convinced I grow it was actually a terrible choice. The whole movie is about reproduction of patterns, one of the most visible ones is that Ryan Gosling did not grow up around his father (he informs us of this himself) and his son is not going to grow up around him (he is dead). Bradley Cooper becomes like his father, and his son (the final scene tells us) is likely to follow that path. Now, if Emory Cohen had died, he would have avoided Cooper’s path. Therefore, Cianfrance would not have surrendered to the unbearable narrative of ‘everything reproduces itself to the infinite’. Now, we can be sure that DeHaan will die as soon as he has a kid.

So many other choices are regrettable, for instance that DeHaan “has a temper” just like his father. That he is instinctively good at riding bicycles and motorbikes, just like his father. That Gosling quickly becomes good at robbing banks. That his voice is extremely high when he robs.

The actors are not amazing: Ryan Gosling is invisible, it could have been anyone else. Eva Mendes gives us a movie-long frown (you can check on the movie poster). I have absolutely nothing to say about the rest of them, except for DeHaan, who is good.

The editing is strange, notably the fusion between scenes. I remember one in particular, mixing together the image of Gosling and Mendes’ couple with the scene that follows, right after they first meet, under a very loud and cheesy music. It’s almost shocking.

Some of the story details are not that acceptable either: that Eva Mendes and her mum speak Spanish around Kofi (Mendes’ partner) but not around Gosling (why?); that Google only tells DeHaan that his father died, assassinated by a cop, and not that he was the greatest motorbike rider ever (EVER)…

I don’t know if you should watch it or not, if you don’t, you won’t be missing out.